


Bark at the Moon

by speccygeekgrrl



Series: MST3K Alternate Universes [7]
Category: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Genre: (hint: it was Max), (is werewolf a species or an affliction?), (it's only dubious because they can't talk about it everyone is totally on board with it), Evil Plans, First Kiss, First Time, Gypsum is best mom bot, Human-Werewolf Interactions, Interspecies Sex, Jonah doesn't care though, M/M, Max gets called out, Mildly Dubious Consent, Science hurts, Secret Crush, Werewolves in Space, cute and romantic but very weird smut, someone watched beauty and the beast too many times as a kid, werewoof Jonah is very soft this is just a fact
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-02
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2018-12-22 18:33:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11973222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/speccygeekgrrl/pseuds/speccygeekgrrl
Summary: Jonah is surprised when Max stands up for him while he can't speak for himself. Being a werewolf isn't fantastic, but... it could be worse than it is.





	1. Ear Scritches And Other Things That Don't Totally Suck About Being A Werewolf

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [A Howling Good Time](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11861466) by [Feenie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feenie/pseuds/Feenie). 



> So I kindasorta agreed to write werewoof porn, but apparently I can't just write porn, I have to build up to it.

The first time Kinga brought Jonah down to Moon 13 for his monthly transformation, it was strictly research. She had a whole barrage of tests to run and he couldn't exactly protest when cooperating was the only chance he had to be cured. It stayed strictly research for three and a half hours, blood draws and fur samples and testing Jonah's comprehension (flawless) and communication (limited to woofs and howls, as his ability to write and type was compromised), until Kinga idly and thoughtlessly scratched him behind one ear and he practically melted out of the chair. Across the lab, Max squeaked and then pressed his fist to his mouth.

"Oh my god too cute." Kinga snatched her hand back and scowled.

"He's not cute, he's a terrifying monster," she snapped. Max gave her a skeptical look and walked over.

"Okay, you say that, but..." He dug his nails into Jonah's fur behind both ears, giving him a good thorough scratching, and Jonah made a whimpery sound and one of his feet tapped rapidly against the floor. "Evidence says he's adorable, not scary."

"Stop petting my test subject, you're... you're fouling up my results."

"But he's so _soft_ ," Max said, and kept petting Jonah, whose wagging tail kept smacking Max's knees where it stuck through the back of the chair. "C'mon, be honest for a second. As long as his mind is in the right place, which it seems to be, he's probably not going to hurt anyone."

"But I wanted to create a savage beast," Kinga whined. "That was the whole point of the project. Fierce, bloodthirsty werewolves." Jonah's ears flattened and he whined, and Max frowned at Kinga.

"Don't freak him out. He's probably terrified enough without you threatening to turn him into an actual monster."

"He's not a monster now?"

"He's a gigantic puppy now," Max said firmly, "and I won't let you terrorize him."

"Where's your loyalty, Max? I made you and I can break you!"

"He can't speak for himself like this. He deserves someone to defend him." Jonah woofed softly and sat up straight, turning the most pathetic puppy eyes Kinga had ever seen onto her (and Max's puppy eyes were pretty damn pathetic). She sneezed twice, then sneered and rolled her eyes.

"Ugh, whatever. I'm done here anyways. Send him back up." She stormed out of the lab, and Max sighed.

"This wasn't meant to happen," he told Jonah, who nodded. "She was never intending to test this on you. You just got super unlucky." Jonah whined again and pawed at Max's hand on his shoulder. "Oh! Uh, are you okay with me petting you? I didn't ask." Jonah nodded quickly and Max got back to it, fingers digging into the thick ruff of fur around Jonah's neck. "I don't know how long it'll take her to cure this... or whether she can or will," Max said. "But you don't deserve to be treated like an animal when you're like this. Uh, I mean, like you aren't still yourself under the fur." Jonah shrugged and sighed. "You should have an advocate. So if you don't mind me stepping into the role..." Max startled when Jonah stood up-- for all he was harmless, he was still a giant wolf-- and turned to lick Max's cheek. "Gah! Dog breath!"

Laughing didn't work as a wolf, but Jonah's tail was wagging as fast as it could go when Max walked him back through Moon 13 to send him up to the SOL.

A day later, Jonah was back to normal, more or less. Still hairier than usual, and in the aftermath of reverting to himself he just didn't have the energy or desire to shave his face, but his body was back in its proper shape even if it hurt like a bitch to get there.

"Jeez, you look rough around the edges," Crow said when Jonah ventured out of his room. "Dog-tired, even."

"That's your free one," Jonah said. "Keep going and I'll retaliate." Crow scoffed and went about his business. Jonah made himself a cup of coffee and went to the bridge, thoughtfully looking at the lights as he sipped it. It didn't take long for the Mads to call up, and he hit the button.

"I want you back down here for follow-up testing," Kinga said without preamble. Jonah rolled his eyes.

"Good morning to you too."

"That beard really suits you," Max said, and Kinga elbowed him hard in the side.

"Really? Thanks." Jonah scuffed his knuckles against his cheek. "Never had the patience to grow it out before, but I wonder if I'll have the patience to get rid of it if this is what'll happen overnight now."

"Already letting the veneer of humanity slip," Kinga said, and Jonah glared at her.

"It's just a beard. Don't read too much into it."

"Don't tell me what to do."

"Oh, for-- whatever. Can I at least finish my coffee before you bring me down?"

"Make it snappy," she said, and he rolled his eyes and polished the rest of the mug off in three long swallows, setting the mug down when he finished and making a 'get on with it' motion. He didn't expect the amount of vertigo he'd get in the tube, and when he landed in the Backjack he dropped his spinning head into his hands with a suspiciously canine whine.

"Are you okay?" Max asked, poking his head through the open door. "You look--"

"Don't say it."

"Woozy," Max finished. "Do you need a minute?"

"I'd appreciate it," Jonah said. When he finally lifted his head he found Max watching him intently. "What?"

"Um... Do you... do you mind that I petted you?" 

"No, it felt nice... It's the first thing that's felt nice in a long time," Jonah said. "I don't mind. Thanks for standing up for me. I appreciate it."

"What's the hold-up?" Kinga yelled. "These blood samples won't take themselves!" Jonah whined again and got to his feet. Max offered him a small, sympathetic smile that vanished when he turned to lead Jonah out to where Kinga was waiting with crossed arms and an impatiently tapping foot. 

"Is this really necessary?" Jonah asked. She gave him an unimpressed look.

"Suck it up, Balto. It's just a few vials, jeez. Pretty sure there's enough blood in you that you won't miss it."

"Probably like 16 pints," Max said, and Jonah blinked at him. "What? I ran a D&D campaign about vampires once. It's not a hard calculation to do from height and weight."

"I will take your word for it," Jonah said, "as long as you promise not to exsanguinate me to check your math."

"Vampire's the wrong monster for this story," Kinga pointed out as she snapped on a pair of gloves and unwrapped a needle. "What does D&D say about werewolves?"

"Well, lycanthropes--"

"I don't actually care. Arm," she demanded, and Jonah sighed and rolled up the sleeve of his jumpsuit. "You're not even a good werewolf. You're practically domesticated." She jabbed him with the needle and he yelped as she started drawing blood. "It's like you have no predator instinct at all."

"I... don't? Why would I?"

"Such a do-gooder, ugh."

"You have problems," Jonah said seriously. She twisted the needle spitefully and his face paled. "Ow!"

"Oh, don't make it worse on him," Max sighed.

"He has his voice back, you can stop advocating for him," she snapped. "Unless you want to be the next lab accident." Max pressed his lips together into a thin line. "Yeah. Keep your mouth shut." She finished filling vials and pressed gauze to the puncture as she slid the needle out not as cruelly as she could have. "There, you big baby."

"Is that all?" He held the gauze to his arm and held his arm up until the bleeding stopped. 

"No," she said. She hooked her fingers in the neck of his t-shirt and yanked him down, then snipped off a lock of hair and put it in a different vial. " _That's_ all." 

"Would it kill you to ask instead of yanking me around like a dog on a leash?"

"Oh, isn't _that_ an interesting idea. Who's a good boy?" she cooed mockingly, gathering up her samples. "Max, send him back up, then I need you in the lab."

"Right away," Max said, but he and Jonah just stood there and watched her stalk off. "I guess it's a good thing you got the accidental needle stick and not her, or I'd be dead already," he said thoughtfully. "Because she would _revel_ in being a monster."

"I shudder to think," Jonah said. 

" _You_ shudder to think," Max said. "You'd be safe up there. I'm the one who would have been dinner."

"She needs you too much to kill you off like that." Max let out a single bitter laugh and shook his head.

"Please. It's a wonder she hasn't killed me already. Come on..." It wasn't like he needed to lead Jonah to the chute, and those long legs should have instantly outpaced him, but Max glanced over his shoulder to find Jonah a step behind and there he stayed the whole way. "Um... I don't mean to offend you," Max said when they stopped in front of the chute. "But... are you _heeling_?"

"I'm-- what? No!" Jonah turned red. "I'm not a dog!"

"Because you almost always walk ahead of me, but you haven't today."

"I didn't--"

"It's just that you're the only person I know who defaults to good behavior and if that extends even this far then it's _really_ endearing," Max said in a rush. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to insult you."

"It's... not an insult," Jonah said, head tilting slightly. "Endearing? Really?"

"Please forget I said that," Max said. "I have to go, she's waiting for me." Jonah gave him a long, level look, then got in the chute without agreeing to forget it. He wasn't entirely sure what to make of it, nor what to make of the worried look Max gave him before he pressed the button to send Jonah up.

Going back up was worse than coming down as far as making him dizzy went, but the only bot to see him stagger and catch himself against the wall when he got dropped was Gypsum. "Jeez, Jonah, are you okay?" she asked. 

"Am I okay?" If he sounded slightly hysterical, he thought it was forgivable. "Am I okay? No I'm not okay! I am very not okay!"

"Yikes! I mean, obviously not, but I just asked because you looked like you were about to fall, not because I thought you'd be at peace with the idea of being furry part time." Gypsum looked him up and down and then bobbed in a shrug. "Can I help?"

"I don't... I honestly don't know," Jonah said. "I just... I think I need to sit down."

"Maybe you should lie down," Gypsum said. "Come on, lean on me." She got a coil around him and started to lead him back to his room. 

"I'm fine, I don't need help," he protested, and she scoffed.

"Don't let toxic masculinity get in the way of accepting assistance."

"I'm not-- where did you get _that_ from? Do you think I'm toxic?"

"Nah, I'm just teasing. You're all right." She let go of him when they reached his door and looked him up and down for a second. "Take it easy, okay? I worry about you."

"You do?" She nodded, and he smiled slightly. "Thanks, Gypsum. That... means a lot to me. And I did need the help."

"I know you did," she said, and nudged his shoulder. "Go on." 

Of the weird things that had happened recently, being mothered by a robot wasn't the weirdest. Jonah fell into his hammock with a sigh, took his glasses off, and pinched the bridge of his nose. He had too much to think about, when his head stopped spinning.


	2. The Great Kennel Escape and Other Mishaps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonah's second transformation gets hijacked by the Mads... but at least one of them is on his side. Max is determined that Jonah shouldn't have to suffer. Unfortunately, they both have suffering on the horizon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not expect where this chapter took itself. I wonder how many more times this story will surprise me with where it goes.

The atmosphere on the SOL got tense as the new moon approached. Even with a month to psych himself up for it, Jonah still didn't feel ready for the pain of the transformation. At least the dizziness going between the SOL and Moon 13 was just a situational thing; all the times he'd been brought down for the show open he'd been fine, and he wasn't sure he wanted to mention it to Kinga and be subjected to more tests. As far as he was concerned, he could quite peacefully spend his time as a wolf with just the bots for company-- and without getting stuck by any more needles, prodded with any more testing equipment, or having his fur snipped off. 

He'd even had enough time to finish rebuilding M. Waverly, and a fragile armistice between the bots had been established. Jonah wasn't aware that he bared his teeth every time he warned Tom and Crow to lay off, but the bots definitely noticed, and Crow especially wasn't inclined to turn himself into a chew toy for misbehaving. 

Late in the day he was due to change, they were having a poetry slam. Tom had penned a ballad to movie monsters, Gypsum was exploring form with villanelles, and M. Waverly was just beginning his sonnet when a sound made Jonah look up.

"Oh, come _on_ ," Jonah sighed as the tube came down for him. As soon as it spat him out in the Backjack he started to rant. "Can't you just leave me alone? I'd be fine if you just left me there, I don't want to do this here." 

"I'm sorry," Max said, and Jonah blinked and stopped. 

"Are you?"

"Yes. I really am. But Kinga wants to observe you going through the change. For what little it's worth, I told her she should observe through Cambot, but that wasn't enough for her."

"Let me guess, she's going to put me in a cage for the next three days," Jonah said miserably. Max shook his head.

"You'll be in a secure room for the transformation, but as long as your behavior isn't aggressive I uh... I may have demanded that you should get play time and volunteered to be the one to play with you if that's okay," Max's words tripped over themselves in his rush to get them out and Jonah blinked at him again for a moment.

"You... really?" Max nodded, looking a little sheepish and a little proud of himself at the same time. "That's... thanks. Thank you, Max."

"I'll take responsibility for you the whole time you're down here if it means you don't have to be locked up," Max added. "You deserve to be treated better than that."

"Kinga must be so furious at you."

"More confused, I think." Max shrugged. "I don't usually stand up to her. I don't usually have a reason to. But you're a good... a good reason." It clearly wasn't what he'd intended to say. Interesting. Max beckoned, and Jonah followed him out of the Backjack and down a hallway to a room with a two way mirror that contained only a bare cot. Max checked his watch. "You've got about ten minutes. Need anything before I lock you in?"

"Yeah, could you... uh." Looking down sheepishly didn't work so well when the person you're talking to is fourteen inches shorter, Jonah discovered. Max looked up at him expectantly. "Could you hug me and tell me everything is going to be okay even though it probably won't? God that sounds stupid, nevermind--"

"It's not stupid," Max said, and he wrapped his arms around Jonah's waist and rested his head against Jonah's chest. "Everything will be fine. Uncomfortable and probably embarrassing, but not injurious or fatal. And that's basically life on Moon 13 all the time anyways." Jonah exhaled slowly and leaned into the hug. When was the last time he'd been hugged? He couldn't remember. This was nice though, Max was just as good a hugger as he looked like he would be. And he smelled good, but as soon as Jonah noticed he could smell him he also noticed that his teeth felt itchy and his skin was starting to prickle with emerging fur and yeah, it was time to be on the other side of a locked door now.

"Thank you," Jonah said fervently, walking into the room and pulling the door shut behind him. The mirror stretched the length of the room, and Jonah could still see his reflection when he sat down on the cot. He looked himself in the eyes and saw... mostly anxiety, but a little bit of hope. Well, he'd take whatever hope he could get. He laid down on the cot and closed his eyes. _It only hurts for a minute_ , he told himself-- and then the minute began. What started as a scream turned into a howl as his face rearranged itself and his tail pushed through the slit he was glad he'd had the foresight to put in this jumpsuit. When the change was over he just lay there for a second whimpering-- holy hell, that hurt.

"Jonah?" Kinga's voice filtered in through an intercom. "Feeling bloodthirsty this time?" Slowly, he sat up and shook his head in a definite no. "Ugh, still just an overgrown puppy?" He discovered that even when his hands were sort of paws, it was still possible to flip her off. "Noted," she said coldly. "That looked like it sucked. Guess we'll find out in three days if it sucks equally in reverse." Even wolfshaped, Jonah could see his face fall in the mirror. _Three days? Is she really going to keep me here the whole time?_

The door unlocked and Max peeked in. "Hey," he said. "Need a minute?" Jonah shook his head and got up from the cot, not realizing that his tail started wagging as soon as he saw the second banana. "Are you in the mood to play?" He nodded and let out an excited woof, and Max grinned at him. "Follow me, then. I got a few things." Jonah couldn't help looking around as he was lead into a part of Moon 13 he'd never seen before. Everything looked different from down on all fours anyways, and his vision was washed out of most colors, but he still needed his glasses, which managed to stay on despite the new shape of his ears. 

"In here," Max said, waving Jonah through a door. Jonah walked into the room and immediately started sniffing around. It was Max's room, his scent was all over it, and Jonah couldn't help sticking his nose in the closet and in the pile of clothes at the foot of the bed and under Max's pillow. Jonah had barely gotten a whiff of Max right before he changed, but when the scent was stronger he knew he'd been right: Max smelled good. "Do you mind not smelling everything I own?" He sounded amused, and Jonah put his paws on Max's shoulder and sniffed his neck obnoxiously noisily. "Hey!" Max laughed, pushing Jonah off of him. "That includes me, you know."

Jonah sat down, tail thumping against the floor and his jaws open in a canine grin. Max took a box down from his desk and started pulling things out and setting them on the bed. "So there's a rope toy, a squeaky cactus, a tennis ball and a rubber ball, and a Kong toy... what do you want to start with?" He didn't even get the question out before Jonah had the tennis ball in his mouth and the puppy eyes in full force. Max grinned. "Okay, out in the hall then."

They played fetch for maybe half an hour before Jonah was satisfied with running back and forth and wanted to switch to the rope toy. Max severely underestimated Jonah's strength and Jonah severely overestimated Max's, resulting in the first yank sending Max toppling straight into Jonah and leaving them both winded but laughing, or as close to laughing as Jonah could manage. After an adjustment of expectations they both had a good time tugging each other back and forth for a while. Kinga turned down the hall but paused at the end of it, watching them play together with one brow arched.

"That's enough," she said after Jonah managed to yank the rope out of Max's hands. "We have a long day of science ahead of us tomorrow. Time for the mutt to be kenneled for the night." Jonah let out a plaintive whine-- _Mutt? Who is_ she _calling a mutt?_ Max stepped in front of him. 

"What's the point of locking him up? He's not misbehaving."

"He's a test subject, Max. Not your new pet. Don't get attached." She took Jonah by the back of his jumpsuit collar. "Come on, Spot." Jonah whined as she hauled him down the hall. He'd just as easily have gone where she wanted if she asked, but she never asked. She lead him back to that bare room with the two-way mirror and shoved him in. "Better get some sleep. You're going to want to be well rested when I test your reflexes." He shuddered and curled up on the cot. When she closed the door, she turned off the lights, and left Jonah alone in the dark.

 _What's she going to do to me?_ The thought kept chasing itself around his mind like a dog chasing its tail. Then another thought snuck in-- _What's she going to do to Max because he's helping me?_ He didn't have good track of time there in the darkness. He might have been alone for an hour or two, expecting to be left in the dark all night long.

The doorknob rattled. Jonah's ears perked up and he sat up slightly to see Max open the door, short silhouette backlit from the hallway. "You want to get out of here?" Max asked. _Anything's better than this,_ Jonah thought, _but going with Max is a lot better than this._ "Be quiet," Max told him as he came through the door. Jonah nodded, noticing as he followed Max down the same path they'd gone before that Max was in sock feet and gliding his feet soundlessly down the hall while Jonah's paws were clicking claws against the floor with every step. They made it down the hall without being noticed, and Max very gently shut the door behind them and sighed. "She'll be mad in the morning but I don't care. It's inhumane to keep you in that empty box of a room."

Jonah sat down in front of the bed and rested his head on the mattress with a sigh of his own. Max sat on the bed next to him and scratched behind his left ear. Jonah's tail started to wag. "It's late, we should probably sleep soon..." His fingers drifted from Jonah's ear to under his chin, and Jonah arched his neck until he was looking up at Max. Brown eyes met brown eyes, and Max's fingers slowed to a stop curled around the back of Jonah's neck. All Jonah could think was, _He looks smitten._ He wondered what Max saw in his gaze when Max leaned in slightly, then caught himself, looking startled. "I'm-- I'm not thinking straight," he said, letting go of Jonah and standing up. "I think we should go to bed." Jonah let out a disappointed whine at the loss of-- whatever that moment had been. He'd liked it. He walked in a circle before lying down in front of the bed, and Max turned around with his hand on the light switch and frowned.

"What are you doing? You're a person. You sleep in a bed. We won't have a ton of space but we'll both fit." Jonah had his doubts about that, having been too tall for some beds for his whole adult life, but he got up on the bed. After some awkward rearranging when Max got into bed, they ended up with Jonah wrapped around Max, one furry arm around his middle and one wet nose nuzzled into the nape of his neck that made Max twitch with surprise. "Good night," Max said softly, and Jonah squeezed him gently and drifted off to sleep much faster than he expected with Max's even breathing as comforting white noise.

They both jolted awake to a pounding on the door. "Max? Where is my test subject? I know you did something, Max!" Max fell out of bed. Jonah, still half asleep, tried to hide under the bed, and Max pulled him back.

"You won't fit under there," he whispered. "Try the closet." Jonah bolted to the closet and had to stand up to fit into it, something he'd barely tried to do since he'd changed. He pulled the closet door shut behind him and heard Kinga pounding on the door again. Max opened the door, rubbing his eyes. 

"What? What are you talking about?" Kinga pushed past him, looking around.

"Where's Jonah? I know you released him!" She walked closer to the bed and plucked something off a pillow. "Why's his fur in your bed, Max?"

"I brought him up here to play right after he changed," Max said, and Kinga sneezed. She dropped the piece of fur and wiped her hand on her coat. 

"Uh-huh. And you haven't seen him since last night?"

"Maybe you didn't lock him in properly," Max said, and that was a step too far. She whirled and seized him by the collar of his t-shirt.

"You know, now that I know the werewolf serum works, I'll need to keep refining it," she said. "You seem awfully invested in it. Maybe you'll be my next test subject, if I can't find him." In the closet, Jonah couldn't bear to hear her threaten Max. He pushed open the door and fell to his feet, teeth bared and a low growl bubbling out of him. Kinga froze and then her eyebrows shot up. " _What_ is going on here?"

"He doesn't deserve to be treated like you've been treating him," Max said, and Kinga let go of his collar and looked from her second banana to the werewolf and back again.

"Why are you so protective of each other?" She sneezed twice and stamped one foot in annoyance.

"Someone has to stand up for him." Jonah let out a bark of agreement. Kinga's eyes narrowed as she focused on Max.

"Do you miss having a pet that much?" Max looked at Jonah, and she smirked. "No, this is something else, isn't it. I should have seen this coming, you've always been... weird like this." Max turned bright red, and she turned the smirk on Jonah. "Did he tell you that he's into furries? Or is he just being a creep?" Jonah blinked and then growled louder at her, taking a step forward and watching her take two steps back. "I just think that's important information for you to have," she said poisonously, pausing in the doorway. "And neither of you are going to escape from what you've got coming to you now." She sneezed again, walked out, and closed the door behind her. Jonah slid to the floor like his strings had been cut, and Max stumbled back to his bed and buried his face in his hands.

After a moment, Jonah got up and set his head on Max's lap with a sigh. Max looked at him through his fingers and then lowered his hands. "She wasn't lying," he said weakly. "I am into furries." Jonah shrugged-- _so what?_ "I'm not being a creep, am I?" Jonah shook his head quickly. "I don't want to be... inappropriate with you." 

Jonah only had to think about it for a second. Max hadn't done anything inappropriate, or anything Jonah hadn't wanted. Max had been the only good thing about this whole life-ruining lab accident, in fact. And if he'd hesitated last night because he hadn't been sure if Jonah wanted him... Jonah caught Max's face between his paws and leaned up to kiss him, a slightly awkward proposition with a muzzle, but not that hard to make work. Max made a high, shocked sound and pulled back to look at Jonah, eyes wider than he'd ever seen them before.

"You-- you wanted to--" He swallowed. "You wanted _me_?" Jonah nodded, and Max kissed him back, trembling under Jonah's paws. "I didn't-- I'm not coercing you into anything, am I?" Jonah shook his head quickly. "God, I wish you could talk right now." Jonah let out a low howl and an exaggerated shrug, then licked Max's cheek. "We're-- when you're back to normal, I mean... we need to talk." _No kidding,_ Jonah thought. He rested his head on Max's shoulder and sighed into his ear.


	3. Bad Intentions and Other Reasons Kinga Sucks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kinga relinquishes the planned testing to Max, then gets an even more evil idea when she discovers what the boys have been getting up to on their own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. I'm almost done with this. The final chapter will be the dirty stuff you've all been waiting for, lol.

They couldn't stay cooped up in Max's room the whole time Jonah was there-- although Jonah was trying to figure out a way to make that possible. He didn't even want to cock an ear out into the hallway for fear that Kinga would grab him by it and drag him like a misbehaving puppy. Max started pacing nervously until Jonah sat down right in front of him and whined, putting his head on Max's stomach and looking up at him.

"Sorry... it doesn't even help me think, I don't know why I'm doing it," Max said a little helplessly. "We have to go out there. But god only knows what she's going to do." Honestly, Jonah couldn't blame him for pacing. He felt like he was chasing his own tail mentally, going around in useless circles trying to find a way out of this that wouldn't be painful. The worst part was that they couldn't just talk through to some sort of solution. He bet that if they could just bounce ideas back and forth they'd come up with something eventually. Finally Jonah just had to find the spine to be the one to lead them out of the room and hope they'd be okay.

Both of them looked around anxiously as they walked the halls of Moon 13, but aside from a few busy Boneheads they didn't run into anyone. Jonah's ears stayed pricked the whole time they snuck a quick breakfast, but before they could hide again Kinga found them, standing in the doorway of the kitchen to block them in with her arms folded and her lip curled.

"I'm allergic to him," she said without preamble. "Apparently a dog allergy applies to wolves as well. So I won't be doing any more testing." She pointed her chin at Max. "You will."

"I will what?"

"You'll be doing the testing, obviously. I've got a checklist for you. You shouldn't have too much trouble with any of it except maybe the blood draw, but that's just tricky with the fur." Max looked at Jonah, wide-eyed, and Jonah's ears flattened but he nodded. "The pain tolerance tests should be interesting," she added with a smirk, and Jonah whined. "I'm looking forward to getting the control for those in a couple of days. But for now, it's all you, and you'd better get to it." She turned around and then paused. "Oh, and Max? I'll be watching. So do it right." The click of her boots on the floor as she walked away sounded like a gavel striking, and the sentence administered was not fair.

"Fuck," Max said succinctly. "Okay. Fuck. This... this is not good." Jonah whined again, and Max looked down at him, decidedly more pale than he'd been before Kinga showed up. "I am so, so sorry for what is probably on that checklist. I don't want to hurt you." Jonah shrugged and leaned against Max for a second, then started down the hall, leaving Max scrambling to catch up. "Wait-- wait, you're going the wrong way!" Max lead the way to the lab and then stood by the table with the checklist on it, not even wanting to pick it up. Most of the tests were innocuous enough, the same sort of thing they'd been doing all along. The reflex test was new, as was the pain tolerance test, and though neither of them were difficult to administer they were both a trial to undergo.

Jonah didn't wait to be told what to do; he scrambled up on the exam table without much difficulty and settled down with his head on his paws, watching Max silently as Max looked around and found that Kinga had laid out everything he'd need to use. He knew she didn't want to make this easy on him, so she was probably just eager to watch him hurt Jonah. "I'm going to start with the easy stuff," Max said, reaching for a sphygmomanometer and a stethoscope. "If that's okay with you." Jonah offered one arm and Max started rolling up his sleeve, stalling with both his hands on Jonah's elbow. "This might be easier if you took off the top of your jumpsuit," he said. "Since it'll be necessary later anyways." He turned pink when Jonah shrugged out of it without a second thought, running a hand down Jonah's back gently.

The lab was wired for observation. Further down the hall, Kinga had popped a bag of popcorn in anticipation of what she expected to be a very amusing trial of this strange loyalty that had developed between her second banana and her test subject. She propped her feet up on the desk and watched the monitor curiously, waiting for someone to start crying. As soft as they both were, the odds were even on which one it was more likely to be. She hadn't expected what she ended up seeing, which was a level of care and reassurance Max had never displayed before anywhere near her. The more solicitous Max got, the more confused Kinga got.

"He didn't show interest in Jonah until the werewolf thing happened," she said to herself thoughtfully. "Is he only interested because he's a wolf? Why is he being so sweet?" She watched Max apologize three times before doing the blood draw and two more times while he was doing it and shook her head. "What gives?" Jonah looked unhappy but still leaned into Max's touch whenever fingers brushed fur, clearly not holding any of this against Max, even after the pain tolerance test that left him yelping and whining from electric shocks that made his fur stand on end. "They trust each other too much," she muttered, scowling. "How do I break that trust?"

When the testing was over, Max put the clipboard aside and started trying to stroke Jonah's fur back down from its static puff with not much success. Jonah leaned in and... Kinga blinked. Did she really just see what she thought she saw? Surely not. She had been so certain that alerting Jonah to Max's weird kink would have resulted in revulsion that she never thought he'd take it as an invitation instead. But no... Max put a hand to Jonah's muzzle and kissed him back. Her brain comprehensively stalled out for a second and then started whirring twice as fast. She could break their trust _and_ make bank in one fell swoop... and probably crush them both in the process, but that was a sacrifice she was willing to make. She just needed a little time to set this up.

The guys lingered in the lab for a few minutes while Max put things away and left the clipboard and all his scribbled results on the desk, but when Kinga didn't appear they abandoned the room and its implements of scientific torment and went back to Max's room. "Your fur is a mess," Max said, and Jonah self-consciously ran a paw across the back of his neck. "I mean, not that it isn't cute, you just look scared with it puffed out like that. Can I brush it down for you?" Jonah nodded and shrugged off the top of his jumpsuit again, then laid down on the bed and half on Max's lap after Max retrieved his brush.

"It's weird because your fur is soft but not really fluffy," Max said, starting brushing at the back of Jonah's neck. Jonah sighed and went boneless across his legs, not minding the occasional static shocks compared to the electricity of the pain tolerance tests as his fur was slowly smoothed down with bristles and gentle fingers. After all the residual electricity was worked out and Max dropped the brush to stroke Jonah’s fur with both hands, Jonah turned over to look up at him, trying to say with his eyes all the things he couldn’t say with words about his contentment in the moment. “Gosh you’re cute,” Max said. “I mean, you’re always cute, not just like this.” Jonah tilted his head questioningly and Max turned a little pink. “I wouldn’t have said anything,” he said quickly. “I don’t-- I didn’t need Kinga mocking every single thing about my sexuality when she made fun of me for literally everything she did know about it. I guess this was a pretty decent run of hiding that I’m bi, huh?” Jonah nodded, and Max smiled at him. “Worth her finding out I'm into you if it means I get kissed by you.” 

The rest of the day passed peacefully-- a little too peacefully. They were both on edge when they ventured out again, but Kinga left them entirely alone, which was suspicious as hell in Max’s opinion. “She’s plotting something,” he muttered, but neither of them heard a word from the mad scientist until the next morning, after another night spent cuddled up together in Max’s bed.


	4. The Werewolf's Boyfriend and Other Things Max Never Thought He'd Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kinga's evil plan goes into effect. Max is Not Okay with this until Jonah lets him know without a doubt that he is okay with it. Just because Jonah can't talk right now doesn't mean he can't communicate. Turns out that body language is pretty effective too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost four months since I brought up this idea, and here it finally is. I am a sinner but hey, if you're still reading this knowing where it was going, so are you. Hopefully this lives up to the hype.

“I need you both to follow me,” Kinga said when she caught them at breakfast the next day.

“Why?” Max asked, and she glared at him.

“Because you’re my assistant and he’s my test subject and when I tell you to do something, you do it,” she said. “Or you get the cattle prod.”

“You’re the actual worst.”

“Thank you.” She smirked and lead the way back to the room where Jonah had been locked during his transformation, which had been rearranged with a bit more furniture, then waved them both through the door and stood in the doorway. "Now, I wasn't thinking about marketability when this happened," Kinga said, twiddling a pen between her fingers idly, "but you dorks gave me the perfect idea to turn a profit on this little accident." Max swallowed nervously and Jonah's ears went back, both of them sure that whatever she was about to say would be awful. She pointed her pen at Max. "If this is how one weirdo furry lover responds to an actual werewolf, I bet the rest of the weirdo furry lovers would pay for porn of him. So you're not coming out of this room until I get the kind of show that perverts will shell out big bucks to see."

"No," Max said immediately, shaking his head. "No way. I'm not doing anything I can't get consent for. What kind of monster are you? Jesus." She rolled her eyes.

"You can do it, or you can do it after I zap you with the cattle prod a couple times." Jonah snarled at her, teeth bared and a growl bubbling out of his throat, and she sneered. "One way or another, you're going to give me what I want before you walk through this door. How long it takes is on you." She slammed the door behind her and they heard three separate locks clunk.

"I'm not doing it," Max said blankly, and Jonah pulled him over to the bed that had replaced the cot and pushed him to sit down, then sat next to him. "I won't do anything you can't tell me is okay to do." They stared at each other in uncertainty for a moment, and then Jonah put his paw on Max's cheek and leaned in to kiss him, earning himself a startled sound from the human. "You... you're not really thinking about going along with it, are you?" Jonah nodded, and Max bit one finger thoughtfully, studying Jonah unblinkingly. "Are you really okay with this?"

Jonah nodded again, not entirely truthful but as close to the truth as he could get without being able to communicate clearly. That morning, the conversation they'd needed to have after the moon phase changed had been something Jonah had been looking forward to. Now, whatever they'd have to say to each other would be colored by what happened in this room, and if Jonah had to bend the truth a little to keep it from being poisoned by Kinga's ill intentions, then that was what he'd do. It wasn't like any of this was Max's fault. 

Would Jonah have initiated this himself? Almost certainly not. Would he have gone along with it if Max had been the one to suggest it? Yeah, probably. Although Max never would have suggested it without the ability to have a conversation about it first. If they were going to do this, and it looked like they might have to, then Jonah was at least going to make sure Max knew he was doing it willingly.

"Can I take your clothes off?" Max asked, toying with the open neck of Jonah's jumpsuit. Jonah tugged on his double-breasted jacket in response and Max's brows arched. "Me first?" Jonah nodded, and Max bit his lip. "That's fair," he said, fingers going to his own buttons. "Since I've already seen you half naked." Fair or not, he was still hesitant to pull off his undershirt once he shed the jacket, until Jonah whined softly and slid his hands up Max's sides under the shirt, paw pads rough against soft skin. Max shivered and stopped stalling, then yelped when Jonah stuck his nose into Max's armpit while he had his arms lifted. "Gah! Cold nose!" 

Jonah’s tail was wagging full-speed when he licked Max’s cheek and Max giggled. “Let me?” he asked, fingers going back to the top snap of the yellow jumpsuit, and Jonah tilted his head back and let him undo the whole row of them and ease the sleeves down Jonah’s arms. They both paused, and then Jonah shrugged and kicked the jumpsuit the rest of the way off, which was a slightly tricky proposition with the tail but easier when Max clued in and helped him. Once Jonah was naked, even his glasses set aside, Max couldn’t really stall any longer than it took him to take his boots off, even if he was blushing helplessly by the time he dropped his boxers into the pile of his discarded clothing. As soon as the clothes were out of the way, Jonah pushed Max onto the bed, climbed up next to him, and set about putting his cold nose and his warm tongue in several interesting places while Max twitched, alternating between ticklish giggles and startled, pleasure-tinged whimpers depending on where Jonah’s focus was at the moment, starting at the side of Max’s neck and meandering around his torso. 

“W-wait,” Max said when Jonah’s attention drifted down toward his hips. Jonah’s ears perked up and he looked up at Max curiously. “You’re uh, you’re sure you want to do this?” Jonah nodded quickly. “Really?” Jonah caught Max’s hips between both rough-padded paw-hands and gave him a soft, heartfelt “ _awoooo_ ,” and the hesitation in Max’s expression evaporated. “Just making sure,” he said, and Jonah could have loved him just for that, for being so concerned about what Jonah wanted when Max was on the verge of getting something he obviously wanted. It was impossible for Max to pretend he was anything less than thrilled when he was so achingly hard that his pounding heartbeat was mirrored in the way his cock twitched as if begging for attention. Jonah wasn’t about to make him beg, just nuzzled between Max’s legs to breathe in the inexplicably arousing scent of him before licking a wet swipe up the underside of Max’s cock. 

“Oh my _god_ ,” Max gasped, and Jonah licked him again. “Oh, fuck. That’s amazing.” Jonah was very, very aware that his mouth was full of fangs at the moment and he was kind of annoyed that he couldn’t show Max what amazing _really_ felt like. Although, he’d have more important things to do with his mouth than giving a blowjob once he was back in his proper shape. Once they talked, this was definitely high on his list of things to do after that. But until then… he glanced up to find Max staring down at him wide-eyed. “ _You’re_ amazing.” Max’s nails dug in behind one of Jonah’s ears, and Jonah’s eyes slid shut as he sighed with enjoyment.

Both of them had been ignoring the last thing in the room: on the table they’d left Jonah’s glasses atop, there was a tube of medical-grade lubricant. They couldn’t ignore it forever, though, lurking next to them as a reminder of what Kinga had demanded, and after some more thorough fur scratching and a few more kisses, Max sighed and reached for it. “Well, whatever needs to be done with this has to be done with my hands,” he said, other hand wrapped around one of Jonah’s decidedly useless-for-sex paws. “I guess it’s just a matter of… who gets done with it.” His voice got faint. Jonah nosed him with a whine of concern and Max shook his head. “No, I’m fine, I’m just… I’ve daydreamed about this, you know? I mean, I wasn’t human in the daydreams either, but… being romanced by a handsome wolf is pretty high up the list of things I like to think about. But actually being here in the moment, I’m… I’m a little nervous.” Jonah wrapped his arms around Max, who breathed a laugh and pressed his nose into the fur covering Jonah’s shoulder. “You don’t make me nervous. But I haven’t done this before. Even with a human.”

Oh, Jonah was going to murder Kinga when they got out of there. Poor Max, having what should have been a special, intimate moment of his life taped for sale on the internet. Jonah was less indignant on his own behalf than on Max’s-- at least he wasn’t identifiable in this shape. So many questions Jonah wanted to ask-- _Are you sure you want to keep going? You’re really okay with me doing this to you? How can I make this good for you?_ \-- but all he could vocalize was a warm sigh by Max’s ear. When their eyes met, Max offered him a shaky smile and ran his hands down Jonah’s sides before reaching between them to wrap an inquisitive hand around Jonah’s cock. “At least you’re still into it,” he said, clearly relieved. “Be awkward if I were the only one.” 

Jonah had a thought about how he could dispel the idea that he might not be into what they were doing. He sat back on his haunches between Max’s legs and the wide-eyed, helplessly turned on up-and-down look that Max gave him was almost as satisfying as the loud gasp that Max made when Jonah pushed his legs up, leaving him totally exposed. “What are you doi-- _oh fuck_!” Jonah wasn’t sure if that was because of his cold nose pressed under Max’s balls or his tongue lapping at Max’s entrance. As a human, he might have hesitated to do this, but for some reason Jonah was intoxicated by the way Max smelled when he was in wolf shape, and the taste of his skin was almost just as dizzying. Jonah’s ears pricked every time Max made a sound, and almost every breath he took was a gasp or a sigh or a moan while Jonah was licking him open. Jonah wasn’t aware of how fast his tail was wagging behind him, but there was no question that he was enjoying himself.

“Jonah…” He thought it was just another expression of pleasure until Max gently tugged one ear. “Jonah!” That got him to look up. Max looked wrecked, flushed and sweaty and blissed out, but he held up the lube with a half-nervous, half-excited expression. “Take me? Please?” Jonah nodded rapidly, letting out a soft delighted howl when Max shivered and reached down to get himself ready. Paws holding Max’s thighs apart, Jonah stared shamelessly, and Max whimpered when he pressed a slick finger into himself. “You’re looking at me like you want to eat me up…” Playfully, Jonah snapped his teeth and Max shivered again. “I want you to,” he added breathlessly.

If anyone had told Jonah three days ago that dorky little Max would be the hottest thing he’d ever seen, Jonah probably would have laughed at them, but that gasped confession slammed into him like a fully loaded Backjack and left Jonah reeling with desire. He wanted to cover Max in kisses, wanted to breathe secret endearments in his ears, wanted to make sure that he knew that this meant something to both of them regardless of the circumstances that caused them to be locked in here together. So much he wanted to say, and all he could manage was a quavering “awoooo” and a heavy, intense gaze. Max bit his lip and reached down to get Jonah slick. 

“Please,” he said, and that was more begging than Jonah had meant for him to need to do. They’d cuddled before but it wasn’t until Jonah was right on top of Max that it really struck him just how small Max was, how neatly he fit all folded up between Jonah’s long limbs and the bed. Max bit his lip again, brow furrowed, as Jonah slowly pushed into him, but it looked more like concentration than like pain and even that smoothed out when he opened his eyes and stared up at Jonah with all the wonder of someone seeing sunshine for the first time in his life. “Oh… Jonah.” His name sounded like a prayer on Max’s lips, and Jonah had no idea what to do with that kind of naked adoration except answer it with tenderness.

Max, by his own account, hadn’t done this before, and Jonah hadn’t done anything of the sort in altogether far too long, so it didn’t take much to tip either of them over the edge, tangled up in each other and in frantic motion. Max was done in by the gentle but relentless friction of the soft fur on Jonah’s belly against his cock trapped between them, and his hands tightened on the ruff of fur around Jonah’s neck as he came, whimpering almost directly into one very alert ear. That was more than enough to wrench the tiny amount of control Jonah had straight out of his grasp and to wrench a howl out of his throat, leaving him shaking, wrapped around Max with all the strength left in him. They’d settled on their sides next to each other when the transformation back to his proper shape overtook him, no warning or hint until his bones were already breaking, and Max’s shout of alarm was entirely lost as he scrambled to comfort Jonah through the unexpected spasm.

At least it didn’t seem to hurt as much this time. Maybe it was the oxytocin flooding his bloodstream, holding the pain at a slight remove. Whatever it was, he was grateful for it.

"Jonah?" When Jonah slowly blinked his eyes open, he found himself looking up at Max from where his head rested on the other man's lap. "Hey," Max said, wide-eyed from the violence of the transformation that had happened nearly on top of him, and Jonah cupped his cheek.

"Are you okay? I didn't hurt you?" Max shook his head quickly.

"I'm fine! I'm better than fine. You have no idea how longstanding a fantasy you fulfilled, seriously." He turned to kiss Jonah's palm. "Are _you_ okay? I know we couldn't talk about it but--"

"Max." Max bit his lip, cutting himself off, and Jonah smiled up at him. "Trust me. I was completely on board every step of the way." His smile faltered slightly. "You're not only into me when I'm a wolf, are you?"

"I'd love to prove how true that's not," Max said, leaning down to kiss Jonah’s forehead. "If you'll let me."

"Can we do it in a room that Kinga doesn't have video feeds from?"

“I guess that depends on when she unlocks the door…”

“You’re free to go,” her voice came over the intercom immediately, and they both winced at the reminder that she’d probably watched every second of what had just passed between them with scorn and disgust. Well, to hell with her. If she wasn’t going to yank them apart as soon as they came through the unlocked door, they had a _lot_ to say to each other, and Jonah didn’t want to wait to say any of it. He stooped to murmur into Max’s ear as he buttoned up his jumpsuit.

“Was that incredible for you too?” 

“Too?” Max was pink when he looked up from pulling on one boot. “So it wasn’t just me?”

“It wasn’t just you,” Jonah said. “It may have been your fantasy, but it was pretty fantastic from my side of the equation too.” Max couldn’t have looked more thrilled, and Jonah smiled down at him. “Take me back to your room? I have so much to tell you.” Max stuffed his other foot into his boot and reached for Jonah’s hand when he stood up, lacing his fingers through Jonah’s with a smile.

“Yeah. Of course. Tell me everything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue:
> 
> Kinga's hand fell from her mouth. She hadn't realized she'd been biting it while her eyes were glued to the monitor, but there were definite and distinct tooth marks on her knuckle.
> 
> "Fuck, I think I might be a furry," she swore. How _dare_ they be sexy together? She was furious about how aroused she was. "God _dammit_."

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Primal Instincts](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12110943) by [speccygeekgrrl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/speccygeekgrrl/pseuds/speccygeekgrrl)




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